I have used many different opportunities in my path to find keys or tools that would help me heal or overcome trauma. During a personal session with an energy healer, the practitioner made me aware that I was “carrying trauma” for another. In this case it was sexual trauma, which I have not personally experienced, but have close friends and family who have. I left the session and reflected on this idea. If I was carrying for others, then someone was probably carrying trauma for me in return. It would be pretty difficult (if not impossible) to heal my own issues, if I wasn’t fully carrying them myself. It was at that time, I created a double session in which I pulled back my own trauma so I could work with it. I immediately followed it with work to send the trauma of others back to them, with love and a prayer for resources to help them work through their own personal trauma. It seemed ethical to bring my own back first, then release what I held myself, although the emotional weight is pretty heavy in the short time between the two sessions. The results of this particular practice have been interesting; my family member has found a therapist and has been working through their own personal trauma, and I have found a sense of peace with my mother issues that were held for me. I have done work with friends and one of them literally had a friend call the next morning and say, “you know, I really should start working on my own issues”. Shifts in family or other relationships are common after this specific healing session. It is generally a one-time healing, as you become aware and focused on healing your own issues, and don’t look for or take responsibility for the trauma of others.
I will include a side note here, as I have worked with parents and their children. There is a special bond that includes carrying appropriate connections between these in healthy relationships. The taking back and returning healing work, is not to undermine the healthy connections between parent and child, but it will help with unhealthy, co-dependent issues in these relationships. Releasing those ancestral traumas is a way to allow your children to grow with appropriate boundaries and support into emotionally healthy adults, responsible for themselves, and not carrying the trauma baggage of unhealthy family bonds.
It is also important to note, that when you release unhealthy trauma bonds with others, you allow yourself the space to be more compassionate and supportive in healthy ways with strong personal boundaries.
Disclaimer: The ideas expressed in this blog are reflective of my personal path and experience. They are not presented as ‘truth’ to anyone but myself. I hope that they might spur insights in your own life and practices, but each of us have our own journey.