It’s Springtime in a climate that grows year-round…so what can I focus on…
My family divorce, separated me from more than just my parents…because it was tangled and acrimonious, I felt a “divorce” from most of my extended relatives as well. Coming from a farming community, it meant that many of the age appropriate lessons in gardening, harvesting, preserving and serving, were lost. Even with the vast resources of library and internet, being able to access those skills seemed to be a futile effort. I would get so excited when I obtained fresh fruit or vegetables and would become despondent as I watched them rot and have to throw them away, unable to motivate myself through the processes to preserve them. Stacks of seed packets, or if I managed to get them into the ground, the withered plants when I lost focus and didn’t tend them, were regular reminders of my loss and separation.
This separation was more than just the physical presence, but also the emotional support and connection. It was not all because of the divorce, but also because of personal experiences, I built an emotional blockade to any personal connection on any level, from visits to ancestral connections.
It might be the reason that I was drawn to California Native plants and gardening, that thrive in a condition one of my teachers refers to as "benign neglect".
Since doing the Ancestral Healing work, I have had a variety of interesting experiences within these realms. I belong to a local seed library and after 5 years of membership, I am actually planting food crops in my backyard from seed (and some plants culled from other member’s gardens). I have had probably the best two hours with my mother, learning to make raspberry jam (her recipe forgives her for a multitude of transgressions) and I have made some progress, with the help of friends, in preserving food myself. It’s not perfect, there are still wasted plants, seeds and produce, but there is progress, and in my personal garden of healing, that is a blessing.
Disclaimer: The ideas expressed in this blog are reflective of my personal path and experience. They are not presented as ‘truth’ to anyone but myself. I hope that they might spur insights in your own life and practices, but each of us have our own journey.
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